Jack and Adrienne were at the bar after a work day at the hospital. The lights had just been dimmed and there was a quiet after dinner hours buzz from the patrons.
“I feel like I have everything I could want but I’m not happy,” Jack said.
“Well, what do you think that might mean?” his friend Adrienne asked.
“I dunno if I’ll ever have a family. I have my dream job. I do the things I want, I have a nice condo. But I just don’t know.”
“So I assume that’s what you’re missing in your life?” She was average height and liked wearing plain dresses.
“I guess so. What’s life without the people you’re closest to you?” Jack asked. He took a shot in one gulp and pushed the glass forward for another. “I dunno if I want a family or even a girlfriend. I like my independence.”
“Independence is nice. I used to like living alone too,” Adrienne commented. She sipped her beer and placed it quietly on the center of the coaster.
“You’re married now though. I just have never been married. Janelle wanted kids and I didn’t want them and that’s why we split up a few months ago.”
“Kids are a difficult task. They’re a joy but I don’t know if I want them either.” She looked up at the TV with Dr. Phil on the air.
“I don’t know if I’m fit to take care of them. I’m usually healthy but there are times where I struggle to take care of myself even,” Jack said. “It’s a loaded question to take care of a whole other person.”
“That’s a really conscientious way of thinking of things. I think you’d do fine taking care of them.” She flagged the bar tender for another beer. A couple with their six year old walked past the bar and were seated at a table. Jack glanced as they walked by and turned back to his drink.
“It’s a lot of work though too. I just spent the past eleven years working on most of my trauma and symptoms.”
“That’s true. Maybe you’re just not ready for kids.”
“I think I’m ready to have all the fun that I never had in my twenties but at the same time most of my friends are married with children.”
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“I just spent the past eleven years working on most of my trauma and symptoms… I think I’m ready to have all the fun that I never had in my twenties but at the same time most of my friends are married with children.”
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“You can still have fun. You should have fun. Maybe you can find someone who doesn’t want kids either.”
“That might work. I like them but I just don’t know if I can take care of them. I’m such a mess half the time.”
“Do you think that would affect them at all?” Adrienne asked.
“I don’t, but it would affect me. I need time to take care of myself and I just don’t know if I can split time between myself and them.”
“Your life is no longer yours when you have kids,” Adrienne said.
“Yeah, that’s kind of the problem. It’s not by any means. I like being able to do whatever I want.” Jack’s glass clanked when he finished his second shot and placed it back on the wooden bar. The bartender came over and refilled the glass.
“You should take it easy on those. You still have to drive,” Adrienne said.
“Duly noted,” Jack replied. They shared a laugh and watched the TV for a minute.
“So, I guess the question is what will make you happy?” Adrienne asked.
“I think just traveling and enjoying my life for a few years. I guess I feel left out.”
“That’s just from what you see on Facebook. You’re not seeing all the people who aren’t having families posting about their families.”
“I never thought about that.”
“If you’re left out with someone you love, you’ll feel fine.”
“That’s true. I guess being a Godfather would be a good compromise. I just have to hope my sister has kids.”
Photo by Guilherme Stecanella on Unsplash
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